I talk a lot about intimacy, so … What is intimacy?Intimacy is that special spark between two people; be it in a romantic relationship, close friendship, or even family dynamic. It lights the way for meaningful connections and allows us to grow together as social creatures who need interpersonal relationships to thrive! There is four types… this week I will post about all four types 🥰
🍑Carve out time in your calendar for some serious fun and pleasure. Swap those long to-do lists with a few naughty activities — it's all good for the body, mind, soul...and libido! Regular exercise is key not only because you need 🩸 flow down there but also because endorphins are important when getting aroused (not just after). Open yourself up to embracing sexual desire as part of your daily nourishment - start feeling empowered about what turns YOU on and have more satisfying experiences along the way.
🍈🍈You don't need to be a master planner, but make sure you're reserving some time for fun! Put away your obligations and give yourself permission to take an hour each week of pleasure with the one you love. It's all about finding that balance of connection and desire - so get ready for some intentional intimacy!
Having the energy to explore endless possibilities of pleasure in the bedroom is a must! Put down your phone, and get some sweet sleep instead. Recharge yourself each night by taking an hour for relaxation before bedtime so you can be ready to experience new sensations with confidence during those special moments between you & that someone special 💋
Get ready to have some fun! Spice things up between the sheets by being lighthearted and enjoying each other's company. Laugh, joke around, tickle - whatever it takes to get your heart racing as well as getting in the mood for a night of passion.
🍑👣Controlling your own destiny—and preventing potential disappointment in the bedroom! Knowing how much you can handle and when to take a beat is key for making sure that intimacy always stays positive. Being aware of your limitations allows you to create sexual experiences filled with joy, fulfillment, satisfaction... not just hard limits but also pleasure!
Avoid making comparisons to past partners. This can affect your relationship. Make each experience with your partner unique and exciting! Rekindle the fire by setting aside special moments for some sexy time - new memories await you both!
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Explore and discover your body's hidden secrets! Unlock new heights of intimate pleasure by seeking out the little things that get you going. Be like a great detective, uncover what makes both of you feel sexually alive so that together, y'all can reach sensational satisfaction.
Ready to feel the heat 🔥 in your bedroom? If you're having a hard time finding that connection, don't worry - there's always a resolution if you’re open and willing. Make some free-time to understand each other's love language! Sure, it can be irritating if they've been turning up the thermostat and you prefer breezy air conditioning... but how much more romantic would it be when their gestures make YOU melt instead of just making conversation go sour? Stop blaming each other for miscommunication and start learning meaningful ways to show physical affection. And who knows -- discovering one another’s desires may even bring about sexual intimacy too! Do you know what the love languages are ?
Check out my mental health and wellness blog for more articles and you can also subscribe to my email list for my soon to be launched newsletter 👉🏻 RealElizaJayne.com
Wanna spice up your sex life ! Try something different with outercourse - exploring a variety of body pleasure that goes beyond traditional intercourse. Get creative and get steamy as you explore deep kissing, sensual touch, erotic massages or even bring in some toys for extra fun! And remember put your anxiety aside and just relax there are no real rules except the ones that you and your partner create 👌🏼
Use Your Senses 👀👂👃🫦
It's time to let go of performance-based sex expectations and get ready for a whole lot more pleasure! Fully immerse yourself in your own body sensations using all five senses - it'll help you release any worries about not knowing the right moves. With this approach, sexual exploration will be much more enjoyable than if you're solely focused on what outcome is expected from you.
Just a little Sunday strip tease ...
Fantasies & Desires
If you like bondage, whips, oils, etc. then let your partner know that! Why keep it a secret? Bring your wildest desires and fantasies to life. It may inspire your partner to share theirs with you.
Safe Words
Things can get a little wild in the bedroom, that's why it is important to discuss boundaries. Talk with your partner about what type of activities you’re comfortable.
Choose a safe word, one unrelated to sex either of you can say to pause what’s happening. I know you saw “50 Shades of Grey,” stop playing! 👀
Why do some partners find it hard to be vulnerable in relationships?
* Personality Types
The differences in personality between the partners—also known as their temperament types—are one of many reasons why it appears difficult to be vulnerable in a relationship. Because you and your partner are distinct individuals, it is impossible for you to behave or approach situations in the same manner. Your partner may be an introvert who prefers to keep things to himself or herself, whereas you may be extroverted and may be quite expressive when it comes to your feelings and opinions. In addition, introverts sometimes find it difficult to express their feelings because they are unsure whether to trust you or not. After putting in so much mental effort to allow you into their space, they can't bear the thought of being betrayed by you.
*Past Trauma
Everyone has experienced trauma as a result of hurt or betrayal in the past at some point in their lives. When it comes to sharing basic information about yourself, your past experiences sometimes have a way of making you feel even more hesitant. because you think it's safer for you to keep people at a distance by not giving them basic information. Because it took you a while to recover from that awful experience, you also believe that your behavior is justified. Trauma may also cause you to be cautious and perhaps being cautious about putting your partner's trust in you. All of this is because you have been hurt and betrayed by people you used to trust. You are aware that your partner loves you, but you are unsure about letting go of your guard.
*Imposter Syndrome
When you struggle with imposter syndrome and can't stop feeling like you don't deserve a relationship, it's hard to be vulnerable in it. Because you are under the impression that your partner will find compelling reasons why they should not be with you and act accordingly if they discover your flaws or how imperfect you could be, you ensure that you do not let your guard down.
*You are an over-thinker
Overthinkers frequently tend to worry too much about the worst-case scenario that could arise from a situation. You think too much about what will happen in your relationship with your partner and it starts to affect how you talk to him or her. Because your focus is on the imaginative outcome you've put yourself through, you start walking on eggshells. Your fantasies may cause you to mentally prepare for betrayal, resulting in a more defensive attitude toward your partner; even if they are sincere.
*Low self-esteem
You try to act like someone else because you don't feel confident enough about who you are. Why? so that you can live up to your partner's expectations. In a situation like this, you can no longer be yourself. Because you are uncomfortable with who you really are, you don't see yourself as vulnerable in the relationship.
*Society's influence
Women are not expected to talk to their partners and should only exist to play dumb and dance to their partners' tunes, according to one of society's rules. Men have been taught by society to be strong and to avoid being vulnerable in a relationship because doing so would make them appear weak. Therefore, even if it is false, it is expected of them to present a solid image of themselves. Sadly even in 2023 that false influence still affects men and women from expressing themselves and being vulnerable.
Exclusivity
Never make assumptions and always communicate. If you are able to lie down with another person, you should also be able to talk about whether or not you are exclusive.
Make sure that everyone is on the same page, and only do what makes you feel at ease and is in your best interest. Don't let anyone coerce you into doing something you don't want to do.
Likes & Dislikes Of Your Body
Everyone has insecurities and a lot of people unknowingly suffer from body dysmorphia. Trust your partner enough to be open about the likes and dislikes of your body and how you both can make it comfortable for one another in the bedroom.
When You Feel The Sexiest........
Tap into that alter-ago and let your sexiness show. If you feel the sexiest when music is playing in the background or with candles lit, verbalize that. Ask your partner when they feel the sexiest and try to satisfy each other’s needs.
A strong relationship is like a house of cards - if there's no intimacy, it'll collapse! Both physical and emotional connection are necessary to remain close with your partner. When intimacy between two people dwindles, loneliness arises and can cause resentment in the long run.
To ensure overall happiness together over time, here are a few tips:
1. Try Something New
You can feel more at ease and secure with a daily routine. You are aware of what to anticipate and what will transpire next. This can provide a sense of security in a relationship. However, experimenting with something novel and out of the ordinary can help rekindle the spark that keeps your relationship interesting. It can be revitalizing to try something new and step outside of your comfort zone. It really makes no difference what you do. You can learn something new together, try a new activity, or try something new in the bedroom that you haven't done before. When you do something new and different with your partner, the excitement can stimulate and connect you, making you feel closer to one another.
2. Touch More
Staying connected to your partner requires physical contact. Touch is one of the senses that develops first and is necessary for healthy development. Physical affection has numerous health benefits as well. A decrease in 🩸 pressure and an increase in the bonding hormone oxytocin are among the health benefits. This happens to both the person touching and the person touching. Therefore, touch your partner with your hand. Hold hands when you go for a walk, stroke their leg when you sit together, and stay with them when you hug them. To become more intimate, spend more time touching each other.
3. Schedule Sex
Make sex a priority again. Even though it may appear unromantic, if it isn't scheduled, life can get in the way of your sexual connection. After a long day, sometimes sleep is all you think about as you crawl into bed. When you aren't used to having sex, going without it is easier. However, as long as it is a regular part of your relationship, sexual intimacy will continue to be an important part of your relationship. Scheduled sex gives you a chance to build anticipation and engage the brain's largest erogenous zone. Before the sex date, you can describe what you want to do and how sexy you find your partner in text messages. It also gives you a chance to get ready for time alone when you can focus on one another. You are more likely to be open to more impulsive sexual encounters when you regularly plan sexual intimacy.
4. Show Appreciation
It can go a long way toward making your partner feel appreciated to say "please" and "thank you." Doing the daily chores that make your home run more smoothly is easier when you know your partner appreciates you. Your praise should be sincere and specific. Give your partner sincere compliments. Describe the qualities you admire about them. Giving each other praise and small acts of kindness can make you both feel valued. Having the impression that your partner appreciates you strengthens your relationship.
5. Go on a date
Take your partner out on a date away from home. Spend time with your partner in a different setting where you can concentrate on each other. Children, work, or household chores can all be sources of distraction when you are at home. Without the entirety of the external impedance, you can zero in on partaking in one another and having some good times together. Going out on dates together helps you focus on your relationship.
More Tips coming soon ! If you have a topic or would like me to discuss something specific please let me know.
What is sex therapy ?
If you are struggling with your sex life? ...Don't worry, there's no need to suffer alone. Sex therapy is here - the ultimate fix for all of your bedroom woes! It provides a safe and non-judgemental space where you can talk through issues related to physical, psychological or emotional factors that are potentially getting in the way of reaching sexual satisfaction. There are often homework tasks assigned (for fun!) along with new coping mechanisms designed specifically for you - before long it won’t just be fireworks going off between those sheets any more... feel free to shoot me a DM if you are looking for help or assistance in that area. I will be working on more video and content uploads on Sex, Intimacy, Relationships, as well and Mental Health & Wellness.
Also be sure to check out my mental health and wellness blog for more tips. RealElizaJayne.com
Performance Anxiety: in most cases performance anxiety most of the time comes from our thoughts. We over think, depending on the circumstances we are in if it’s an unhealthy relationship that has had mental, emotional or physical abuse or we have experienced that in the past can alter our present thoughts and believe it or not affect our sexual performance. There can be so many facts that play into situations as well if you or your significant other uses or have in the past used alcohol, or drugs either recreationally or struggles with abuse. If you need support feel free to reach out for support and we can talk some of those things through.
Do you have a difficult or hot topic you would like me to discuss or talk about from a therapist person ?
Let me know comment below or shoot me a DM 👇🏼
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